Here’s a conversation I had this morning with my daughter, who is almost 16.

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Daughter: I need shampoo and conditioner.

Me: Okay.

Daughter: Like, this weekend.

Me. Okaaaay.

Daughter: I want Dove.

Me: I want a lot of things, but that doesn’t mean I will get them.

Daughter: Mom, be serious.

Me: Why do you want Dove? It’s too expensive.

Daughter: Oh my God, Mom!

Daughter begins to think, a dangerous habit for her.

Daughter: Fine, Herbal Essences then!

Me: Ok.

Like that is much cheaper.

15 minutes later.

Daughter: I need scrunching gel.

Me: I need a lot of things, too. Like a weekend away from kids. What kind?

Daughter: Herbal Essences.

Me: Fine.

I let out a big sigh.

Another 15 minutes later.

Daughter: I need hairspray.

Me (getting a little irritated at this point): Good God! What kind?

Daughter: I don’t know.

Me: I need to know what kind!

Daughter: I don’t care!

Me: FINE! You’ll get the cheapest.

Daughter: Oh my God, MOTHER! Why?!?

Me: Because I said so.

Daughter: Whatever!

She goes back into her room.

15 minutes later.

Daughter: I need Midol.

That did it.

Me: OMG, I’m going to spend $40 on YOU alone!

Daughter: OMG, mother! Calm down!

Yeah, sure.

Me: Fine! You’re getting the generic.

Daughter: MOM! WHY?!? That’s so retarded!

Me: That’s me. Retarded. But you’re still getting the generic.

Daughter: WHATEVER!

She goes to her room and slams the door.

Ahh, life in our house!